An Unforgettable Season

What a season.

Since May, I was pregnant in every tournament that I played in. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would still be competing at five months pregnant. My view on pregnancy as an athlete has always been black and white: The moment you get pregnant, your career is immediately put on hold.

But that’s not what happened. I remember telling my partner Nicci after a practice one day that I was pregnant, and I’d been worried that she wouldn’t want to compete with me anymore. However, her reaction was one of pure joy for me (so much so that others around found out I was pregnant because she was so happy for me, haha). I was honest with her and told her that we’d have to take it one tournament at a time and that I had no idea how I was going to feel or how I was going to perform. She was willing to take that risk with me and compete together for as long as I was able. Another unexpected blessing! 

Sure, I didn’t feel my best in some of the tournaments I played in. I was slower both mentally and physically and not able to jump as high as I was before. But we had some incredible memories from this season. We played in the longest tournament ever in Minnesota, competing from 7:30am until 12:30am the next morning and playing through rain, sunshine, and under the lights, and ultimately taking third. We traveled all the way to Nicaragua when I was eight weeks pregnant to compete in a NORCECA, and we podiumed with a third place. The worries going into that tournament were massive, and I constantly questioned whether or not it was the right decision to go. I imagined I would get food poisoning, get sick from the water, all of a sudden have morning sickness and be throwing up on the sidelines, or get some type of injury or heatstroke in the hot weather. But…none of that happened, and my worries were for nothing! We placed fifth in the Denver AVP, which was likely the most fun tournament of the year for me as I got to compete eleven weeks pregnant and with my parents, brother, husband, and other friends cheering us on. We qualified for the Manhattan AVP, and even though the results weren’t the best, it was such a gift to me that I was able to compete in the granddaddy of all beach volleyball tournaments while four months pregnant. After tough losses in both Virginia Beach and Manhattan, we gained some momentum again and took third at the Labor Day Weekend Hermosa Beach CBVA. Our final tournament of the season was the qualifier for the Hermosa Open, where I competed five months pregnant to the day. 

The little baby growing inside me (that only a few people in the volleyball community knew about for many weeks) was my motivation. Sometimes, I would go back to serve and take a moment to remember that I was playing at a high level with a little human growing inside me. It totally blew my mind!!

God created our bodies to do amazing, incredible, unimaginable things. He heard me and all my worries about being a pregnant athlete and totally blew my expectations out of the water. Whether those around me gave me a concerned look when I told them I was still competing while pregnant or encouraged me to keep going, my husband and I knew what God wanted me to continue doing: playing the game He gave me the ability to play, glorifying Him as much as I could along the way. Through my fears and doubts, God proved to be both faithful and trustworthy. And while He gave me the grace of being able to compete until five months pregnant, He also showed me the limitations of the human body at five months pregnant. That last tournament, I performed the worst of the entire summer. Maybe I just didn’t get enough rest that week, or maybe it was my pelvis pain that was holding me back, but every point felt like a struggle in a way that I had never experienced before. Of course, I would have loved to have made it into the main draw, but I just couldn’t muster the energy to make it there.

This season showed me a whole new layer of God’s grace in the ways that He provided everything I needed—strength when I felt weak, courage when I was afraid, energy when I was exhausted, and peace when I was worried. I was extended grace by an amazing human and partner in Nicci, who stuck with this unpredictable pregnant lady when she could’ve dumped me at any moment.

I was also shown the limitations of the human body. I wanted so badly to say, “Yes, I qualified for the main draw of a tournament when I was five months pregnant!” But there was no amount of striving that would make that happen. Truth is, I was toast that day. And that’s okay. Because I had five months of arguably the most unforgettable season of my life. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

I Pledge Allegiance

My heart sank and I shook my head as I read the Apple News Spotlight notification that popped up on my phone: “Trump supporters have stormed the Capitol, forcing the evacuation of Congress and disrupting the electoral vote count.”

Rallies, protests, riots, division, looting, and outright hatred have marked the last year for Americans. 

In my young life, I have never seen anything like it. My heart hurts daily for the families that have been broken, houses divided, and friendships tragically ruined over political arguments and overreactions. 

Although I am not an expert on politics, I have recognized a deep-seeded issue in the lives of Americans today. Quite simply, we have been called to fight in a battle of good versus evil. 

Growing up, I recited the Pledge of Allegiance at my parochial school each morning. I admit that after a while, I stopped thinking about the words and merely repeated them because I had come to know and memorize them. I did not give much thought to what they actually meant and how proud I should be of the country in which I resided. 

There is no doubt that our allegiance to this country has been called into question the past year. At times, I find myself embarrassed to be called an American, wondering what other countries around the world think about the craziness that has ensued. 

As a Christian, I have recognized this issue and battle between good and evil for some time. This battle began in the Garden, and our world has been marred by sin ever since. We need not be surprised when bad things happen, because we know that the prince of this world prowls around like a roaring lion, ready to destroy anyone who falls into his den. 

I ask you, if you are a Christian, where does your allegiance lie? While we are called to respect and honor our authorities and to stand up for this country, we know that we have a God whose authority is the ultimate authority. He is greater than any political party, and His laws stand the test of time. As a nation, we have become so encapsulated with political parties that I fear we have forgotten the God of creation and the supreme authority He holds over each and every one of our lives. 

We have created labels—Democrat and Republican—to signify what we believe in and what policies we want changed in our country. These labels, however, fail to acknowledge where our true identity should lie. As Christians, we are children of God first and foremost. All of our actions should point to our Lord and Savior, and we should strive to stand up for the biblical beliefs that we hold so dear. Christ called for unity within the Church, and that unity can only be achieved if we hold fast to His teachings and ask ourselves how to be a light in the darkness and the salt that preserves the truth of His Word 

This will look different to everyone in each unique situation. I urge you, therefore, to remember these words: “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). Do not lose sight of the hope we have in Christ and the call He has placed on our lives to turn hearts toward Jesus. I am dismayed that we have lost sight of what is important and that God’s heart is breaking as He witnesses the tragedy and division taking place within this nation and within His Church. I fear that we have been caught and held captive by “Americanism” rather than by biblical wisdom. 

Should we not be saying “Make Following Jesus Great Again” instead of “Make America Great Again?” Should we not be asking ourselves if we can defend and explain the gospel as well as we can defend and explain our political beliefs? Could we be as vocal in standing up for our faith as we are in standing up for our party’s beliefs?

I pledge allegiance, yes, to the United States of America. I love our freedoms, our diversity, and our opportunities. However, I pledge allegiance, first and foremost, to our Creator God, the Sovereign Judge of all humankind, who has given me truth and hope that transcends all length of time and trial.

Where does your allegiance lie? 

Patience is a Virtue

“Patience is a virtue.”

If I had a dollar for every time I heard my mom say that to me growing up, I’d probably have about $800. It would aggravate me and make me roll my eyes, but now I find myself saying the same thing every so often to my husband of two years. Growing up, I didn’t even think about what a “virtue” was. I just knew it was something good, and, according to my mom, patience was something I didn’t have enough of.

Britannica defines the word “virtue” as “conformity of life and conduct with the principles of morality. The virtues are thus the practical attitudes and habits adopted in obedience to those principles.” From a Biblical perspective, we are told that having patience is an aspect of love. “Love is patient,” says 1 Corinthians 13:4. God is the ultimate example of unending, sacrificial love. So, the more we are patient, the more we exemplify and reflect the spirit of God.

The day I took this picture, I had decided to go down to the beach by myself to watch the sunset. Never in my life have I ever regretted watching a sunset on a beach, and this particular day was no different. As I soaked in a few moments of what I like to call “golden hour” just after the sun went down, my prayers led me to the word “patience.” With all of the changes going on and the uncertainty of COVID, God was telling me to stay patient.

I decided to test myself a little. One thing I love to do in addition to watching the sun set is to put my toes in the water. I love enjoying God’s magnificent creation and soaking up the sounds, smells, and feelings. The waves were reaching up to a certain spot on the beach, and I decided I would stand exactly where I was and not move an inch. I wouldn’t leave that beach until another wave reached up the beach and touched my toes.

As wave after wave rolled in, I would get excited that it would reach me, but most weren’t even close. Looking out to a certain distance, I thought I could tell which wave would have enough stamina to reach my toes, but then I would be sadly mistaken. I thought I knew which one would get the job done, touch my feet, and have me headed back to my warm car and home.

As the seconds ticked by and turned into minutes, I began to panic a bit. There’s something you should know about me: When I set my mind to something, I become determined to follow through. Because of this, there was absolutely no way I was going to leave that spot until those darn waves rolled up to kiss my feet. So, all of the extreme thoughts started rolling in. What if I was stuck here all night? What if low tide just started, and now there’s no hope of these waves reaching me until the tide came back up? What if I looked like a fool to everyone around me, unmoving, starting out forlornly at the ocean? Why could I not just control the water and make it do what I wanted it to do?

“Patience,” I kept reminding myself.

Eventually, after what seemed like about an hour but was really only about four minutes, one of the waves slowly, majestically, rolled up the beach and touched my toes. I was able to let out a sigh of relief, give a brief smile, nod my head at the ocean, and start my walk back down the beach and to my car. Praise the Lord, I would not be stuck there all night, looking like a fool and screaming at the ocean to just do what I wanted it to do.

Walking away from that spot where I had dug my feet in, I began to think about how this random experiment translated to the rest of my life. How many times do I find myself waiting, seemingly stuck, and begging God to change my circumstances so I can move on with life and do what I want to do? How many times do I get excited about a new opportunity that seems promising on paper, only to find out it’s not for me and doesn’t reach even the bottom of what God wants me to do and accomplish? How many times do I judge what I am supposed to do by others’ reactions to me and opinions of me? And how many times do I finally get the nudge from God to move forward, breathe a sigh of relief, thank Him for finally listening to me, and move on—with inevitably another wave-touching, worrywart-creating moment coming soon on the horizon?

Even when we’re unsure what’s going on around us, God just wants us to stay patient. As hard as we try, we can’t control the waves. And that’s what has always been so scary to me about the ocean! I don’t know what it’s going to do or when it’s going to do it, so it terrifies me sometimes. But God doesn’t want us to have a spirit of fear! Rather, he wants us to be “patient in affliction” (Romans 12:12).

Wait.

Sit in God’s presence and let Him comfort you, provide for you, and stand up for you.

Don’t come up with your own rationale and your own idea of what needs to happen. In due time, He will reveal the next step forward. He always has, and He always will.

So, develop this Biblical virtue that will draw you closer and closer to God and His goodness. Each time we are faithfully patient with where God has us, He will show us the next steps to take. He will let the calming water hit our toes, an exciting blessing to move forward.

Faithful with Little

About three years ago, I had a friend within FCA share this truth with me: “Be faithful in what God has started in you, and you will be trusted with more!”

This was pretty revolutionary to me in the moment. I had just started this new ministry and was slightly overwhelmed with all the ideas I had and the pressure I felt from wanting to do what God wanted me to do. To me, that meant I couldn’t make any mistakes or choose any wrong paths. I had to be flawless so that I could get exactly where God wanted me to go. And I had to achieve those lofty goals I had created for myself.

This small phrase really put things into perspective. It was the lightbulb that I needed that continues to guide me to this day. And now I share the same truth with others when they are struggling with what God wants them to do or if they’re feeling overwhelmed with all the choices in front of them.

Being “faithful with little” comes from the parable of the talents (wages). Jesus tells of a man who entrusts three of his servants with some bags of gold while he goes away. The first and second servants made use of their gold and both gained twice as much as they originally started with. However, the third servant was afraid. He didn’t want to squander his master’s money, so he simply hid the bag of gold. When the master came back and found out what the first two servants had done, he told each of them, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” The third servant, however, was reprimanded and called wicked and lazy.

This hits me hard. I know that there are so many gifts God has given both myself and the rest of the world. I believe that sometimes we find ourselves paralyzed and afraid, just like that third servant. We don’t know what to do with what God has given us, so we simply choose the worst option: we hide our gifts and do nothing. Whatever it was that God instilled in us in order to glorify Him and bring others to His saving power, we squander and suppress. Why? Because we are too scared. Too uncomfortable. Too complacent. Too lazy.

But in order to receive this blessing from God, this “Well done, good and faithful servant,” it’s really much simpler than we think. When we’re just beginning this journey with God, He doesn’t entrust us with too much. It’s just those couple bags of gold that the first servant received. And our only job is to be a good steward with whatever it is we have received. Don’t hide your gifts from the world. Rather, embrace them and trust God to use them to bring both yourself and others closer to Him.

Practically, all we have to do is be committed to being faithful with whatever God has put in front of us each day. We can make goals for the future, yes, but realize those baby steps you have to take every day to achieve those goals. If you want to be a missionary, figure out what you need to do, and go do it—every day. If you want to be a youth leader, figure out what you need to do, and go do it—every day. And if you’re not sure where God is calling you to next, figure out what would glorify him JUST today, and go do it—every day.

Aligning ourselves with God’s will, like everything else, takes time and practice. If we’re too afraid or lazy to step outside our comfort zone and take baby steps toward our goals, we will be called nothing but wicked and lazy servants. Especially during this uncertain time, we need to be even more focused on individual moments and tasks that can continue propelling us in the right direction.

Be faithful with what God has put in front of you today, and slowly you will see Him begin to entrust you with more.

"Go All Out To Be All In"

My first year playing at Hawaii, I was searching to find true faith and a relationship with God. The people God placed in my life challenged me tremendously to ask questions about my faith and to dive deep into His word for the answers. This photo of my partner and I was snapped during an intense tournament day in Santa Cruz, California. It makes me chuckle now to look back on this photo that I only recently discovered and instantly think of a verse I didn’t even know existed back then: 1 Peter 3:15. He tells us, “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…”

The words “always be prepared” instantly jump out at me. And then my new life motto: “Go all out to be all in.”

First, I think about my life as a Christian and follower of Jesus. I’ve come a long way since my first days in Hawaii in 2015, and I know that I still have so much more progress to make. But how can I “always be prepared” to speak up and give the reason for my hope if I don’t know the promises God has given us in His word? How can I call myself a Christian if I spend 5 minutes a day praying and 20 minutes reading the Bible? I know that the faith I have is not a faith based on works, yet the fruit of my salvation is showing the world that I am a follower of Jesus through my actions.

Second, I think about my life as an athlete and professional beach volleyball player. Transitioning from indoor volleyball to beach volleyball was an insanely hard task, but I was determined to make it work. Practically speaking, there’s no way I can “always be prepared” to win a match if I don’t put in the training. How can I expect to succeed if I only practice twice a week for two hours each? How can I last under the hot sun if I don’t fuel myself properly?

In both these areas of my life, I’ve recently realized the trick: I have to go all out to be all in. We’ve heard the term “All In,” mostly in the athletic world. If we want to succeed, we have to be “All In.” We need to buy in to what our coach tells us and be a great teammate. We have to work hard, eat right, and get enough rest. We know that being “All In” can lead us to winning championships. But there’s a missing piece in this phrase “All In.” How do I get there? What flips the switch to the next level?

In all of our endeavors, if we want to achieve the goals we’ve created for ourselves, we must go “All Out.” To “always be prepared,” we can’t just sit around and wait for success to find us. We can’t just sit around and wait for a miracle to happen. BUT…we must go “All Out” with God’s guidance. We must seek what He wants for us. A combination of following His will and working our tails off to get where He’s leading us will align us totally with the path He has for us. And there’s no other path I’d want to be on than the one He’s set before me!

I remind myself each day to be faithful with what God has put in front of me. For He tells us, “You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.” If we truly want to unlock the potential God has for us, we will go “All Out” with what He’s placed in front of us. Dive into the word, and make sure your mind is present. Lift prayers up to God, and keep your mind from wandering. Serve faithfully within your church, and ask what more you can do. And when we’re faithful in these small tasks, God will entrust us with larger tasks.

God wants every last bit of our hearts and our efforts. To give anything less would be a shame.

Make sure you can confidently give others the reason for your hope. To do this, we must go “All Out.” Let’s be “All In” as Christians and as deliverers of the gospel message!

God's Promise

Reading Genesis this morning, I came across one of my favorite passages: “And God said, ‘This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenenat between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.’”

This picture was taken just a couple days before our nation went under “safer at home” orders. It was one of the last practices myself and those I was with had before we weren’t allowed to be on the beach anymore. The rain that morning was a little menacing, and it was a pretty cold practice. It was setting the stage for what was to come—weeks of what may seem like hopelessness and drudgery for some.

But as certain places start the reopening process (and I’m honestly getting really antsy for California to do the same), I’m reminded that God is always, always, ALWAYS true to His word. The covenants and promises that He’s made with us will NEVER be broken, and that makes me smile so big. On that day, this rainbow was a promise from God amidst the beginning of the storm. He was faithful then, He’s been faithful all these weeks of quarantine, He’s faithful now, and He will be faithful forever. WOW. Having this image of hope has filled me with utter joy during this time rather than sorrow, despair, and fear. I pray the same for you.